Novels

Author page

Good morning everyone!

Just an update. My author page is now up and running! The link is posted on my Social Media page on my blog. I am also attaching it to this post below.

www.amazon.com/author/elenadeluigi

Please go and check it out! Also, if you could give my book ‘Finding Elena’ a review that would be wonderful! Thank you!

Xoxo

-E

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Personal

Reflections of a BPD warrior

This year, 2017, has been the year of worst moments for me. From a rough breakup at the beginning of the year, to an overdose, to a hospitalization period, to months of major depression, to another hospitalization period, to more months of major depression while trying to stay in school. All while at the mercy of multiple medications that have practically turned my brain into mush.

PURE MADNESS.

My body and my soul have been washed away by pills upon pills of toxic substances that have plagued my mind. With no control over what happens, I am forced to take everything as it comes. Every memory lost, every unfocused moment, every blank stare, every pound gained, all of it.

As strong as I am, at times I can’t help but feel as though I am losing something. Perhaps I am losing myself. Losing my own sense of belonging in this world. Losing a battle I no longer wish to fight.

The feeling of falling comes to mind; as if I’m tumbling down with nothing to save me. Each day a new beginning but each day a failed attempt to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and soul and make them whole again. No matter how hard I try, there just isn’t a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Days go by, and I barely notice as the time passes. This is not normalcy. This is not real life. But what constitutes as normal? I believe that there is no such definition since the world is filled with so many unique ways of living. This may seem off topic, but it correlates with what I am experiencing. I am not experiencing “normalcy.” I am experiencing an utterly complicated and twisted form of life that only those who suffer from similar kinds of this life will understand.

Recovery is no simple path. For me, it has been one hell of a journey. I am still in recovery and in no way through it. Some days are blurred and uncontrollable, others have more clarity. I suspect that there will be many more of these days before I can genuinely see a difference in my quality of life. But until then, I am forced to do nothing but take it one day at a time and fight each battle as it comes.

-E

Novels

​’Finding Elena’ NOW AVAILABLE

Well, here we are, my dear friends. I’m finally able to take a deep breath and say, “It’s finished! My book ‘Finding Elena‘ is NOW AVAILABLE.

OH, MY GOD. HOW COOL IS THAT? I AM BEYOND EXCITED FOR THIS RELEASE.

This book is a huge accomplishment for me. I have poured my life, my heart, and my soul into these pages and I am overwhelmed with excitement that it is finally published. The continuous work I have put in has finally paid off.

I am also very grateful to my family, my friends and my publishing team for all of their support, love, and efforts to make this book possible. I could not have done it without them. My family has been there for me every step of the way, and I could not be more in debt to them for everything they have done for me. My friends have been there for me and shown me so much love even when I was down, and I am grateful for their kindness. My publishing team has been diligently working hard to make sure my standards were met and that the book looks amazing.

I am just so thankful to be able to do this, and so blessed to be able to share it with all of you.

So here it is. ‘Finding Elena.’ My heart and soul splayed out on white pages for you. My everything in the grasp of your hands. Get your copy today!

Finding Elena is available on Createspace. Soon to be available on Amazon and Kindle. Here is the link: https://www.createspace.com/7164582

xoxo

-E

Personal

Words from a beautiful stranger

I’m writing this blog post as my coffee is brewing so, please bare with me.

I woke up this morning (quite early, I might add), to a beautiful stranger writing to me. They wrote some very inspiring words. These words made me think about why I write and why I podcast, and I came to one conclusion. I do this for others to resonate with my struggles and to have someone on their side who “gets it.” I also do it for me, so I can reach out and connect with others who understand or who are trying to understand mental illness. Connecting to other people helps me with my recovery as well as it helps others gain a supporter and a friend.

Mic drop.

There’s my inspiration for the day. Thank you, beautiful stranger.

I do this not only for myself, but to help others as well. That is the essence of why I started this blog, why I wrote a book, and why I recently started the podcast. I want to make sure people know they are not alone in this. It’s a long road to recovery, and it can feel like you are the only person walking that path. Trust me, I know what it feels like, and it’s not fun at all.

My words are meant to inspire others to walk the path of healing. To be brave and do for themselves what no one else has done before. To take care of themselves before they take care of anyone else. That is the point.

This person’s comment has made me come to realize many things. That not only am I here to recover and be strong, but to also support others in their own recovery as well.

WOW.

What an honor.

I am so blessed to be able to do what I do with the support of my family and friends. Without them, I would not be able to help you guys. I would not be where I am today.

Having that support team is so crucial. I know from experience that it feels super lonely a lot when you’re trying to understand what’s going on inside your own mind as well as fix yourself. IT IS HELL, let me tell you. Not a day goes by where I wish I had just one person who understands me clearly and who can see through me to my soul.

So here I am, ready to be your support system. Ready to write what you need, podcast what you feel and say what no one else will to help you recover. I welcome all of you with open arms and a warm heart, to lean on my words when you need them. Trust me when I say it can help. Let me be part of your support team. I will do my best to not let you down.

-E

Audio

PODCAST – EPISODE 3 OUT NOW!!!

Hi, everyone! Just an announcement that episode three of my podcast is now posted!

Here is the link: https://www.spreaker.com/user/9881094/episode-3-finding-elena

Hope you all enjoy! Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

xoxo

-E

Novels

BOOK UPDATE

Hello, everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve said anything about my book coming out and I want to make sure you’re all up to date with what’s going on. Don’t worry, YES I am still publishing the book, it’s just taking a little longer than expected (sad face). All the writing and editing is finished (yay!), and my publisher and I are working on the interior and cover design at this time.

I am so excited to share this book with you. It has taken a lot of courage and time to put together the posts, and other little creative inserts I thought were most significant. Yes, it is true that if you have read my blog, you have pretty much read my book already. But there are poems and other words and photographs in my book that will be different which have not been posted on my blog.

Whether you are a new reader or a returning reader of my blog, my book is definitely worth the read! I hope you enjoy it. I do hope you will all pick up a copy for yourself or for a loved one, whether it be in store or online once it is published.

So, I hope you are all excited for this! I am beyond overjoyed.

I will post more updates as we get closer to the release date.

Until then my darlings, namaste.

-E

Personal

Coffee

What wondrous things can a cup of steaming, freshly brewed coffee do?

A cup of coffee brings my imagination abroad to little coffee shops in Italy on the corners of the street with bustling bodies running in and out. It also takes me to springtime, when all the blooming flowers and creatures are waking up from their winter slumber.

If you think about it, coffee is the fuel of society. We depend on this drink as if it were life or death. We even go as far as going out of our way to get our preferred cup from the coffee shop we regularly attend every morning before work or school. Funny how that is.

I know I have no place to say anything because I do the EXACT same thing. There’s a cute coffee shop in my hometown in the heart of the city’s center. It’s the one I go to every weekend to get the same thing because I love it. And you know what? That’s ok! It’s a preference! No judgment here. If you like it, get it. Simple as that. Everyone agree? Yes? Good.

A cup of coffee can do many things, but it does one extra little thing for me that I appreciate more than anything. It gives me hope for a good day ahead, a fresh start, a happier time. And that, my friends, is an amazing thing.

-E