I’m so sorry I’ve been silent this past week. Getting settled into the treatment centre has been a bit challenging for me.
In my last post, I mentioned that I would put up a post about my first day here at the treatment centre. Little did I know my first day was rougher than I thought it would be. It was awful, actually. So in light of this, I’ve decided to write about my first week instead of my first day, since I think it will be less triggering for me to recall.
During my first week here at the centre, I have experienced so many emotions, and I have honestly no idea how to process them. It’s been one hell of a time adjusting to the way things are around here. I’m still trying to fit in. Being here is triggering for me, but I’m trying to work through that as best as I can.
I’ve been trying to stay active, and I’m reading and journaling every day so that I can hopefully keep my spirits up. I may post my journal entries from each day once I leave but I’m still debating on doing that. I’ll keep you guys updated on that later on.
The groups I have to attend are okay. I find myself not able to focus on them though which is a bad thing I guess. Maybe it’s the medications, but I just can’t figure out why I can’t keep my head straight on anything. It’s getting annoying actually.
The meals here are a hit and miss. Sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re not. At least I’m not starving.
Honestly, I still don’t know if this program is the right one for me. I keep trying to tell myself it’s going to get better, but I don’t feel like it will. I still have moments when I want to go home. These moments overtake my mind and won’t stop screaming at me.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I want the help so I can get better, but I want a different help than what the centre is offering. Ugh! The struggle is real, as they say.
Anyways, this is just a little update about what’s been going on. Hopefully, my second week will be better.
Sending lots of love and good vibes to all of you.