Happy Melly

Good morning everyone!

I have some great news. I have accepted a position as an intern at Happy Melly!

YAY!

Happy Melly is a company dedicated to promoting happiness in the workplace. Here is a quote directly from their website:

“At Happy Melly, we believe that Happiness is the future of work and that we can make a living while not losing out on life. Our vibrant community of 500 Happiness Association members from 52 countries around the world strives to make happiness at work the ‘norm’ and not the exception.”

How awesome is that?

I am so glad to be a part of such an awesome community. Lucky for you guys, you can be a part of it too! You can head on over to the Happy Melly website (https://www.happymelly.com) and click ‘Join Happy Melly’ to begin your journey with us. The cost is minimal for how much support and information you will get out of being part of the Happy Melly tribe. Our community chats in Slack channels are a way for people to connect from around the world and share their stories and strategies.

And to top it all off, there is a Happy Melly blog that can be found on the website, a newsletter that is delivered straight to your inbox, and a podcast on Apple podcasts and Stitcher for you to listen to. All that and much more on the Happy Melly website.

Interested? Hop on over to (https://www.happymelly.com) for more information. Or feel free to email me any questions or concerns you may have. My email can be found on the ‘Contact’ page of my blog.

I hope to see you all on Slack soon!

Xoxo

-E

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Being a busy bee

Good afternoon my loves!

I have to say, this week has been SUPER busy for me. I was in the newsroom regularly, as well as I was out in the city filming and doing what journalists do best. I did not stop for four days straight. It was intense but yet, exhilarating because I was doing what I loved most.

I’m finding it much easier to accept the fact that my chosen profession is always up and running. News never stops, and neither do journalists. As a journalist myself, I can attest to that. I never cease to work.

Luckily, I have this weekend to rest and recuperate, before heading back into the fire Monday morning. So, how do I plan to spend my weekend? Well, I will definitely be reading a good book while drinking many cups of hot coffee and tea. Also, my family is coming to visit me tomorrow which will give me some much-needed family time.

I look forward to having tranquil few days. How are you guys spending your weekend? Let me know in the comments below.

-E

Book signing in the making

Good afternoon everyone!

So glad to be back on the writing board again. I have some great news. I have decided to host a few book signings for my book ‘Finding Elena.’

YAY!

I am beyond excited for this. It has taken me a little while to get on board with the idea of doing a book signing but thanks to the encouragement from my sweet grandfather, I have made the decision to do a few of them.

The process is still in its planning stages, but I assure you I will let you all know when a book signing is happening and where. Please feel free to come with a copy you have already purchased, or come early and receive a copy from me.

I look forward to meeting and speaking with all of you lovely souls. Again, thank you so much for all the support you have shown me on here as well as on social media. Thank you for following my story and being a part of it.

Xoxo

-E

Release the demons

This morning I let it out. I poured myself onto the kitchen table over a cup of coffee. I let the tears fall freely down my stained cheeks. I didn’t hold back. I dared speak of demons that have been haunting me for the past number of years. Saying them aloud felt like hot metal scouring my throat. The words burned like they had never burned before.

And then there was my mother, kind and humbling. Accepting my demons. Gentle with her responses. Ready to scoop me into her arms and hold me until I felt whole again. I was so grateful.

Releasing these demons into the open plains, we call a conversation was something I was afraid of. As if it was a sin to tell the tale of how you became the way you are today. Practically throwing myself into unknown territory, waiting to see if I’d survive the exposure.

And I did.

It’s times like these I wish I had a quick way of fixing the issues at hand.  To tick them off of a checklist sounds comical and utterly nonsensical, although if I could make a list of them and fix them as I go, I would be in a much better state of mind. But, as reality sinks in, this is not a viable option.

I know I should be doing something about this, but as for right now, I only wish to curl up in layers of warm blankets with a book and a cup of hot tea and ignore the world around me. At least for a little while longer.

-E

 

How could they?

So many words are trapped within a mind littered with shards of glass so thin; banging against the iron walls, screaming for a way out, slicing open old wounds to try to ease the pain of what was done unto you; that evil that was forced upon you… How could they let this happen? How could they?

-E

Reflections of a BPD warrior

This year, 2017, has been the year of worst moments for me. From a rough breakup at the beginning of the year, to an overdose, to a hospitalization period, to months of major depression, to another hospitalization period, to more months of major depression while trying to stay in school. All while at the mercy of multiple medications that have practically turned my brain into mush.

PURE MADNESS.

My body and my soul have been washed away by pills upon pills of toxic substances that have plagued my mind. With no control over what happens, I am forced to take everything as it comes. Every memory lost, every unfocused moment, every blank stare, every pound gained, all of it.

As strong as I am, at times I can’t help but feel as though I am losing something. Perhaps I am losing myself. Losing my own sense of belonging in this world. Losing a battle I no longer wish to fight.

The feeling of falling comes to mind; as if I’m tumbling down with nothing to save me. Each day a new beginning but each day a failed attempt to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and soul and make them whole again. No matter how hard I try, there just isn’t a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Days go by, and I barely notice as the time passes. This is not normalcy. This is not real life. But what constitutes as normal? I believe that there is no such definition since the world is filled with so many unique ways of living. This may seem off topic, but it correlates with what I am experiencing. I am not experiencing “normalcy.” I am experiencing an utterly complicated and twisted form of life that only those who suffer from similar kinds of this life will understand.

Recovery is no simple path. For me, it has been one hell of a journey. I am still in recovery and in no way through it. Some days are blurred and uncontrollable, others have more clarity. I suspect that there will be many more of these days before I can genuinely see a difference in my quality of life. But until then, I am forced to do nothing but take it one day at a time and fight each battle as it comes.

-E

The Anxious and the Depressed

We are the anxious and the depressed, the forgotten and the unheard.

We are the missing faces, the ones who long to be found.

We are the stragglers you leave behind, trying to find our way.

We are the family members and friends you call ‘weird’ or ‘unreliable.’

We are the courageous people who walk in pain and agony.

We are the warriors who fight battles every day.

We are the mighty, the ones who will overcome this.

We are the souls who will one day rest in peace.

-E