Coffee

What wondrous things can a cup of steaming, freshly brewed coffee do?

A cup of coffee brings my imagination abroad to little coffee shops in Italy on the corners of the street with bustling bodies running in and out. It also takes me to springtime, when all the blooming flowers and creatures are waking up from their winter slumber.

If you think about it, coffee is the fuel of society. We depend on this drink as if it were life or death. We even go as far as going out of our way to get our preferred cup from the coffee shop we regularly attend every morning before work or school. Funny how that is.

I know I have no place to say anything because I do the EXACT same thing. There’s a cute coffee shop in my hometown in the heart of the city’s center. It’s the one I go to every weekend to get the same thing because I love it. And you know what? That’s ok! It’s a preference! No judgment here. If you like it, get it. Simple as that. Everyone agree? Yes? Good.

A cup of coffee can do many things, but it does one extra little thing for me that I appreciate more than anything. It gives me hope for a good day ahead, a fresh start, a happier time. And that, my friends, is an amazing thing.

-E

Sundays

It’s May. The spring flowers are in full bloom, and the air is filled with a scent of freshly brewed coffee. The sun is shining brightly over the city. Spring has finally settled in nicely, and people are out enjoying their Sunday. Talking, laughing, planning, just being in the moment. How fascinating this is to me.

I tousle my hair for the hundredth time since I took a shower this morning and straighten my maxi skirt. Breathe, Elena, breathe. It’s just a coffee shop I tell myself. I patter up the stone stairs and pull open the door. I am immediately wafted with delicious smells of coffee, breakfast food, and baked goods.

It’s a cute little shop, retro, and hip. The patterned walls with artwork displayed on them throughout the place and cushioned couches with small tables give a homey feel to the ambiance. Not to mention the tunes playing on the speakers. Not too out of date but old enough to give it a vintage feel as well.

I enjoy coming here just to sit and relax and enjoy a hot beverage or some food and read or write. It is comforting and spacious, busy and empty, loud and quiet, happy and playful; but most of all it is calming. The people that surround me seem at ease with the place and with each other. Chatting lightly about anything and everything, enjoying the company around them. Delightful.

I order my food and my favorite tea at the front and then sit down in the far corner near the window. I open up my laptop and begin to write this chapter. With breakfast in my belly and a tea close by I type what comes to mind.

This for me is happiness. This is what Sundays should be like all the time.

What makes this experience so great is the fact that I didn’t need someone to be there to validate me or my decisions. I am hanging out with myself. Cool. I can handle being in a public place alone without much anxiety. This is a huge accomplishment, and I could not be prouder. Good job, me. You’re killing it!

Overcome your fears and they will not control you. Be fierce, my darlings, be unstoppable.

-E

Book 2

Here is a small exerpt from the first chapter of book 2! I have already started writing it, yes, and I am so excited to share this with you all! Book 2 will be out later this year.

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After a while the words just fall; fall out of my hand onto the paper like a thick, molasses-like substance. Fall out of my mouth like hot lava. The words singe the fraying curtains and send sparks flying when they hit the hardwood floor.

My quiet, Toronto-based one bedroom apartment is simple really. Hardwood floors, patterned throw pillows on a velveteen couch, patterned quilts on a queen sized bed, books, and papers stacked high all around and placed somewhat neatly on shelves, a rustic kitchen that does the trick, a bathroom complete with glass doors to enclose the water from the shower, and finally, a balcony that looks out onto the loud and busy streets of Toronto. My little sanctuary, my home.

I moved here after finishing my bachelor of honors degree in journalism at Humber Lakeshore. I am currently working as a columnist for Vice Canada. I occasionally write features and do audio pieces such as podcasts, but for the most part, I write columns. I’m hoping to do more work with audio journalism soon, but for now print is where I am going to stay.

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Hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for more updates on when my first book will be published (hopefully soon!) as well as for when my second book will debut. Thank you to all my readers for the support and love you show. It is an honour to have you in my life and I hold a special place for you in my heart. Thank you, thank you, thanl you!

xoxo

-E

First Book Update

So, to update you all on the progress of my book, I am working diligently to make it available for you to purchase in stores, online, and on Kindle VERY SOON. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you dire enthusiasm to read my words in a page-turning fashion.

The main text of the book is completed, so just the editing and the cover design are needed to be put together with the manuscript and sent off to the publisher. Hopefully this week I will have the first proof of the book so that I can see what my masterpiece will look like when it is done and published.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

I am beyond proud that I was able to pull myself together enough to write a book; or rather, to put together my posts into a book for more than my general audience to read. It is a huge accomplishment for me, and I am so grateful for this gift of writing that I have been given.

Anyways, sorry I’ll get back to the book.

This book isn’t meant to hurt anyone, or to show someone’s struggle up, or to make myself sound better than anyone else who lives in this universe. It is to put my words out there for you to read and understand the heartache and the struggle I have gone through. It is a little window into my life that I wish to share with you all. This book is my pride and joy, and I will treasure it forever.

Ps. Stay tuned for book 2!

-E

Sweet Sweet Serenity

Breathless, relentless desire, excitement. I curl my fingernails into the sheets as he presses himself into me once more. I gasp for air as he licks and sucks on every inch of my skin, making me quiver with delight.

He stops, reveling in my creamy vanilla scent. He groans and dips his tip inside of me, pausing and then pulling out again. Over and over again, teasing every feeling of pleasure I possess. I moan, desperate to be fully penetrated. He sees my desire peaking, and he buries himself inside of me.

I gasp and squirm with instant satisfaction. He pulls out again, slowly, making me beg for more. He complies and sends me spiraling high as he buries himself inside me again and again. All the while pounding harder and harder towards sweet release.

-E

And on we go…​

Well, here I am. Back again at the writing board. I took a week’s break to collect myself and work eight hours for five consecutive days wishing I was at home writing or reading with a coffee in my hand. I know, stressful right?

I recently got this job, and yes, it is sort of stressful in a way, even though I’m sitting and flattening my bum the entire time. But a job is a job, and I’m a student who needs to make money to pay her dues, so this job is where I’m spending exceedingly large amounts of my time. Ew. Too much sitting.

In other news, I have made up my mind that I will be writing another book. Book 2. Wow, that’s going to be awesome. My first one hasn’t even been published yet, and I am already looking ahead to the future book that will be published in due time. Just awesome.

If you had told me this is what I was going to be doing with my summer break a few months ago, I would have laughed at you and told you to stop lying. I would never have believed you. The fact that I am writing a book for me is a huge accomplishment, especially after all that these past months have thrown at me. I am beyond astounded that I am where I am today after what has happened.

My life has and is still a constant battle with my mental illnesses. But through it all, I still manage to find a way through it all. Whether it be through reading a book or writing, listening to a podcast or some music, going for a run or a walk, having a tea or just simply sitting and being in the moment. My coping strategies have developed from ways of harming myself to ways of improving the situation and helping myself feel better again. Yes! This is a little victory for me.

If you know me, you’ll know that nowadays the small victories mean everything to me. They make me stronger with each passing day. I think it’s important to recognize your own victories over your struggles because it makes you who you are as a person; makes you unique and beautiful. Our struggles shape us into the human beings we all are so we should embrace those struggles, no matter how bad they are (I’ve had awful ones trust me).

And so, on we go. On to better days and bigger things that make us happy and give us joy. On we go to meet new faces and see great places. On to new experiences and adventures, we’ll look back on years from now and enjoy the sweet memories. On to new challenges to fight through and overcome. Onto brighter sunshine and less cloudy days.

To continue on after being knocked down so low has been quite the struggle for me. But I have done it. Survived it. Held on for dear life to the promise of a better life. I know for certain it would have been better for me to not go through my struggles but that’s not how life works. It throws curveballs at you to see if you’re paying attention (better watch out). My struggles were for a good reason and I have come to accept that. Thankfully, I am on a better path to healing.

-E

Sunday Thoughts

Mother’s Day

Sunday, May 14, 2017

3:46pm

I’m sitting in a cafe on Mother’s Day with my mom. She reads the newspaper as I type this. We both sip our lemon water simultaneously. The more I look at her, the more I see parts of myself. It’s an interesting thing to experience, especially for me. I’ve always seen more of myself in my dad than in my mom. Funny how that is. You think you resemble one of your parents more than the other and then BAM! You look at your other parent, and you realize you’re more like them than the other. And then you’re all confused but accept the fact that you are half of each parent equally while continuing to wonder who you resemble the most. It’s head spinning I know.

As I’ve mentioned twice before (thrice now jeez), it’s Mother’s Day today. My family and I are out, and we have already had brunch at a cute local all-day breakfast place called ‘Sunset Grill.’ Food update: UHH YUMM! All of you better go check it out if there’s a location close to you because they have excellent food there. Perhaps a suggestion for your next meal. The French Connection (eggs and potatoes) with bacon or sausage, french toast with butter and maple syrup, topped off with a warm cup of coffee. TRY IT; IT’S DELICIOUS.

Sorry, I got a little off topic there with the food. Can you tell I’m in love with breakfast? Clearly… Anyways my family is currently sitting in a coffee shop enjoying each other’s company sipping on lemon water and laughing about my father’s shoe size (don’t ask, it’s an inside joke no one will get). We are alive and happy. As I’m typing away here, I want to mention that our day did not start out like this. We had a rough morning. But hey, don’t all families experience this sometimes? I’m sure of it. The point though is that we got past it and had a pleasant afternoon and it is continuing to be beautiful as the minutes’ tick by.

Well, we are on the move again, so I am typing this on my phone so as to not lose any of this sound material (this is debatable). We are headed to a cute little family-owned bakery that one of my siblings works at called Con Gusto (we are Italian and all about the food clearly). We are getting fruit danishes and chocolate croissants. I can vouch for both of these desserts and say that they are pretty darn good. Made fresh daily and super light and buttery. They practically melt in your mouth (I am now hungry again, thanks to me). If you live in my area, check it out it’s a lovely place to get sweets! Oh, and bread of course. Who could forget bread? They have excellent bread there too.

So I meant this blog post to be about family and Mother’s Day, but it turns out it has become all about food. Weird right? Well yes in a way it is but my family loves to eat so if you make the connection, my family and food are pretty close to each other. We hold food very near and dear to our hearts (more like in our tummies but you get the idea).

Today has been a wonderfully pleasant day. I did not think it would turn out this way from the difficult time we had this morning. Oh, boy was I wrong, and thankfully so. This Mother’s Day has taught me to be thankful for the family I have and the people who love and care about me. They are the ones who will stick by me, especially my mom. She is a strong woman, and I don’t know how she does it (obviously with yummy food). Her dedication and patience with myself and our family have been immense, and we are so blessed to have her. So the rest of this blog post is going to be dedicated to my mom.

Mom, thank you. We appreciate all that you do for us, and we are forever in debt to your kindness and love. We hope you have had a fantastic Mother’s Day with us and we wish you much more. Please don’t forget us in your will (just me not the others mom). We love you.

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Here are some good photos of the French Connection dish I was talking about earlier. Enjoy, and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there!

-E