The Enemy

The past two days have been difficult for me to cope with. My mind has been in shambles trying to grasp why I cannot seem to find peace within myself about my body. Even though I am in recovery, I question whether or not I am able to recover after all the years of abuse I have put my body through.

Self-hatred, self-criticism and so many others are my weapons of choice.

I don’t know where else to turn. I try to stay positive as much as I can, but it feels like a permanent cloud has drifted over me and I will never see the sunlight; only the rain falling, pitter patter on my beating heart.

The tears well up in my eyes and I let them fall with the rain.

I don’t know what else to do. I’m losing the will to fight again.

Chills run up and down my spine as the rain soaks me with its infectious comfort. I welcome the familiar feeling of sadness.

I don’t know how else to save myself.

-E

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2 thoughts on “The Enemy”

  1. You are in recovery and are making a real effort to improve yourself. Congratulations on that. Self-improvement and self-love aren’t easy to accomplish but they are worth the effort. This trial might be difficult but you are going to made more strong and more beautiful as a person for going through it. Try to love yourself 🙂 have a great day

    Liked by 1 person

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