The Next Step

I feel like I’m done; like I have nothing else to write. It’s as if I don’t have any more words left inside me to write. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. This feeling is different, one that I have not actually experienced before. How strange…

I’m not giving up on writing. No, definitely not doing that. I would probably explode with the sheer act of trying to bottle up my thoughts and words inside. Not good. I much prefer tapping away profusely on my laptop keyboard, drinking entirely too much coffee in my pajamas and slippers on my couch; or in a coffee shop dressed as hipster as I possibly can drinking an expensive latte and eating a blueberry scone. I could go on and on and on about what I would prefer doing and whatnot but I will stop here so as not to bore you with inconspicuous details that are not meant to be blabbered on about.

I did not expect this “writer’s block,” if you wish to call it that. I just don’t know what else to say, to be completely honest. I have put so much into my book that I have forgotten to self-care in the process. But actually self-care, not ‘write about it’ self-care and then ‘forget about it’ self-care. You know what I mean? Well, hopefully, you do. I’m the writer, so if you’re confused, then I didn’t do my job properly.

I think I may write another book, perhaps a fictional story that is based off of a true story. Although I don’t know yet. Do I really know anything at this point? Not really. But I’m hoping to figure it out soon. I wish my life were a little simpler… Doesn’t everyone wish that?

So what’s my next step?

I think it will be to take care of myself. To love myself. To be present in everything I do. To help myself by utilizing the tools that are offered for mental illness. To try and understand my illness better so I can know how to use different coping mechanisms to help myself when an episode hits. My goal this summer is to create a healthier and happier me; and to do that I need ALL the support I can get. Thankfully, my family and friends haven’t given up on me yet so koodos to them for putting up with me for this long. You guys rock!

-E

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