I am continuing…

Laying down wide awake in my bed while my eyes bounce off the four walls of my room, I repeatedly tell myself to take deep breaths. This has become somewhat of a familiar routine, especially around midnight. My wandering eyes, I want nothing more to close, represent the maddening feeling of not being able to stop the thoughts racing through my mind.

The other night as I lay there, shortness of breath, with my stomach in knots, my eyes began to fill with tears and my fists clenched tightly at the sides of my body. A voice in my head started plaguing my mind with questions like: why me?why does this feel like a never ending battle with myself? why can’t I simply lie down to sleep and feel ‘normal’ every time?

After about ten minutes of flowing tears and wallowing in self pity-I finally sat up in my…

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